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Series 3 Episode 6 Overview

She Snippets for She Speaks Podcast Series 3 — Making Sense of the Hard Bits of Parenting

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Episode Overview

So you have ADHD and you're parenting—possibly children who also have ADHD. You know the challenges. But what can you actually DO about it?

In this snippet, Delyse shares nine practical strategies for parenting with an ADHD brain. From scheduling connection time to delegating tasks to the people who can handle them, this episode is about building systems that work WITH your brain, not against it. Because you don't need to do it all on your own—and trying to will only deplete you faster.

This Episode

Delyse shares nine strategies for parenting with ADHD. We explore:

Get your own ADHD managed first:

•       Be realistic about your own abilities, skills, and needs—this is the first step

•       It's like putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others

•       You'll be better equipped to keep track of your children's medications and appointments if you pay attention to your own needs first

•       Be kind to yourself

Make time for your children:

•       Organisation isn't necessarily a strength for people with ADHD—so literally schedule it in

•       Use a big calendar or whiteboard with days, children, and parents listed

•       Even when distracted, you can look and remember: "Oh, that's right. I'm going to have one-on-one time with my child."

•       You don't even have to talk—just spending time together counts

•       If you don't schedule it, it won't happen

Use timers like your life depends on it:

•       When supervising kids, your mind might wander—this is not a character flaw, it's ADHD

•       Don't rely on willpower to remember—set a timer to check on them every 15-30 minutes depending on age

•       You set a timer for the oven—it's the same with the kids

•       This simple trick can prevent accidents and keep everyone safer

Stay consistent (even when it's hard):

•       Impulsivity might mean responding to the same behaviour differently each time—confusing for kids, and it doesn't work

•       Create a list of family rules and consequences with your co-parent, post it visibly, refer to it when needed

•       This external reminder helps you stay on message instead of reacting in the moment

•       Instead of "don't do this," try: "Do you remember what our rule is?"—less cognitive load, fewer spoons used

Take real breaks:

•       Every parent needs time alone, but for parents with ADHD who need support with emotional regulation, it's absolutely essential

•       Schedule regular time for hobbies, activities, or just decompressing—and don't feel guilty about it

•       This shouldn't be a treat or something you feel guilty for—it should be part of your routine to maintain health and wellbeing

•       When you feel yourself about to lose it, find a quiet room and put YOURSELF in timeout—it's not giving up, it's smart parenting

•       "I'm not putting my child in timeout. I'm putting myself in timeout. If anyone deserves time away from everybody, it's me."

Divide and conquer:

•       Be honest about your strengths and weaknesses—have a real conversation with your co-parent about who does what

•       If you struggle with time management, hand off time-sensitive tasks to someone who can handle them

•       If you're having trouble focusing while driving, you'd stop and let your partner drive—it's the same principle

•       In exchange, take on flexible tasks like laundry or yard work—things that don't have to happen at a specific time

•       If you're a single parent, find support—there are different ways, and you don't need to do it all on your own

Talk to your therapist:

•       If you or your children have a diagnosis, someone may be in therapy—use that resource

•       Even your child's therapist can help you—talk about things specifically for ADHD because it looks different for everyone

•       Therapists who know you and your child can tailor strategies to your specific challenges

•       Therapy should work for the whole family

Use external reminders for everything:

•       Your brain might not remember, but your phone will

•       Add everything to your phone's calendar with reminders; create recurring reminders for weekly activities

•       Stick notes in places you actually see them—the mirror, countertop, car dashboard

•       Mount a family whiteboard or bulletin board in a high-traffic area

•       Carry a notebook to capture tasks and prioritise later

Build routines and plan ahead:

•       Structure is your frame—set specific times for chores, meals, bedtime, study time

•       When things happen at predictable times, they're easier to remember—less cognitive load, fewer spoons, more motor memory

•       Routines let you plan ahead: pack lunches and school bags the night before instead of rushing every morning

•       Set clear boundaries and enforce them—keeping belongings in designated spots, respecting curfews

•       Talk to your kids about why these rules matter—if they're old enough, get their input

Quotable Moments

"If you don't schedule it, it won't happen." — Delyse Clayden

"Your mind might wander—this is not a character flaw. It is ADHD." — Delyse Clayden

"I'm not putting my child in timeout. I'm putting myself in timeout. If anyone deserves time away from everybody, it's me." — Delyse Clayden

"Taking breaks shouldn't be a treat or something you feel guilty for. It should be part of your routine to maintain your health and wellbeing." — Delyse Clayden

About Your Hosts

Professor Narelle Lemon is a researcher, educator, and passionate advocate for women's wellbeing based at Edith Cowan University in Perth. Creator of She Speaks and the Citizen Wellbeing Scientist project, Narelle has dedicated over 25 years to one powerful belief: self-care is not selfish—it's essential.

Delyse Clayden is an experienced educator, disability advocate, and mother of three. Specialising in Anxiety, Autism, and working with siblings, Delyse brings both personal and professional experience to her advocacy work. Her unique perspective as both an educator and a parent living alongside additional needs allows her to connect authentically with families.

Resources Mentioned

•       Delyse Clayden Advocacy: www.volume-disabilityadvocacy.au

•       WA Mental Health Association: Resources on staying calm in challenging situations — www.mhc.wa.gov.au

•       Explore & Create Co: www.exploreandcreateco.com

Connect With Us

Listen to more She Speaks episodes exploring women's wellbeing and self-care

Visit our website: www.shespeakswellbeing.com

Follow us on Instagram: @shespeakswellbeingstrategies

A Note on Wellbeing

She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women's voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and practical strategies, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified mental health practitioner.

She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and Department of Communities Women's Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.

She Speaks Podcast was recorded on the lands of the Whadjuk Nyoongar people. We respectfully acknowledge our elders past, present, and emerging.