Finding Your People

Series 3 Episode 12 Overview

She Snippets for She Speaks Podcast Series 3 — Making Sense of the Hard Bits of Parenting

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Episode Overview

Some days you'll navigate the hard moments beautifully. Other days you'll lose your patience, say the wrong thing, or handle it in a way you'll regret. That's not failure—that's being human. What matters is the pattern over time.

In this snippet, Delyse Clayden reframes what it means to support a child through meltdowns—and then turns the lens back on us. If we're teaching our children to reach out for help when they need it, why do we expect ourselves to do this alone? This episode is about finding your people: the professionals, the support groups, the online communities where someone will simply understand.

This Episode

Delyse explores who to reach out to and why asking for help is wisdom, not weakness. We explore:

•       Reframing meltdowns: an autistic child having a meltdown is not misbehaving; a child throwing a tantrum is not a bad child—they're a child who hasn't learned better skills yet

•       What meltdowns teach us: each one reveals something about your child's triggers and capacities—an opportunity to refine your approach

•       The scaffolding balance: enough support that they don't collapse under emotions they can't handle, but not so much that we prevent them developing their own coping skills

•       From adversary to ally: when you see meltdowns as communication rather than behaviour to eliminate, everything changes

•       Co-regulation before self-regulation: children learn emotional regulation first through a trusted adult, then gradually internalise it

•       Professional support: developmental paediatricians, behaviour therapists, child psychologists, occupational therapists, speech pathologists, autism coaches

•       Parent support groups: connecting with other parents navigating similar storms

•       Social media for good: online groups where you can vent, share wins, and have people cheer for you

•       Model help-seeking: if we expect children to reach out for help, we need to show them how

Quotable Moments

"Your child learns the most important lesson of all: when things fall apart, someone will be there to help them through it." — Delyse Clayden

"We wouldn't expect children to be able to self-regulate immediately on their own. Why do we expect adults and parents to have to do it?" — Delyse Clayden

"Asking for help is not failure. It's wisdom." — Delyse Clayden

"We're trying to teach them to reach out for help when they need it. We actually need to model that ourselves." — Delyse Clayden

About Your Hosts

Professor Narelle Lemon is a researcher, educator, and passionate advocate for women's wellbeing based at Edith Cowan University in Perth. Creator of She Speaks and the Citizen Wellbeing Scientist project, Narelle has dedicated over 25 years to one powerful belief: self-care is not selfish—it's essential.

Delyse Clayden is an experienced educator, disability advocate, and mother of three. Specialising in Anxiety, Autism, and working with siblings, Delyse brings both personal and professional experience to her advocacy work. Her unique perspective as both an educator and a parent living alongside additional needs allows her to connect authentically with families.

Resources Mentioned

•       Delyse Clayden Advocacy: www.volume-disabilityadvocacy.au

•       WA Mental Health Association: Resources on staying calm in challenging situations — www.mhc.wa.gov.au

•       Explore & Create Co: www.exploreandcreateco.com

Connect With Us

Listen to more She Speaks episodes exploring women's wellbeing and self-care

Visit our website: www.shespeakswellbeing.com

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A Note on Wellbeing

She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women's voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and practical strategies, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified mental health practitioner.

She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and Department of Communities Women's Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.

She Speaks Podcast was recorded on the lands of the Whadjuk Nyoongar people. We respectfully acknowledge our elders past, present, and emerging.