Have you ever noticed the weight of the word should? It follows us through the day — I should be doing more, I should know better, I should be further along by now. It’s quiet, persistent, and heavy. In this She Snippet, Rachel unpacks what the research tells us about should and why it so often leaves us feeling like we’re getting it wrong. Then she offers something beautifully simple: a one-word shift that can change everything.

In This Snippet
Rachel invites us to notice the language we carry with us, and explores:

•       Why walking around with a perpetual sense of should can leave us feeling wrong, heavy and weighed down by obligation

•       What the research on language tells us about should — and how it quietly undermines our sense of self

•       A practical, empowering shift from should to could — and how this small change moves us from obligation to choice, and from heaviness to something lighter

Quotable Moment

“If we are not doing something and we should be doing it, then we’re wrong because we’re not doing it. And so it makes us feel quite heavy. It’s very laden with obligation.” — Rachel

“Could denotes choice. It’s bringing us back into the seat of empowerment rather than victimhood.” — Rachel

Something to Try

Next time you catch yourself thinking I should…, pause. Try replacing it with I could… Notice what shifts. Does it feel a little lighter? Does it open up a sense of choice? You might like to share this with someone you care about, or simply sit with it yourself.