Ask Like You Mean It
Series 3 Episode 15 Overview
She Snippets for She Speaks Podcast Series 3 — Making Sense of the Hard Bits of Parenting
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Episode Overview
"Can you help?" is vague. "Can you watch the kids for two hours on Thursday so I can shower?" is specific. One of these actually gets results.
In this snippet, Delyse Clayden breaks down the three types of support every parent needs—practical, emotional, and informational—and offers twelve concrete strategies for actually asking for it. Because here's what we forget: most people want to help. They feel valued when asked. They just don't know what you need until you tell them. This episode is about getting specific, letting go of the "do it all" mindset, and remembering that there are no medals for exhaustion.
This Episode
Delyse shares the three types of support parents need and twelve practical strategies for asking. We explore:
• The three types of support: practical (laundry, meals, childcare), emotional (someone to listen without judgment), and informational (professional advice)
• Identifying exactly what you need—write down everything overwhelming, then prioritise what would help most
• Why people actually want to help—asking makes them feel valued and connected, not burdened
• Being specific: "Can you get these things while you're out?" works better than "I need help"
• Building community with other parents—school runs, play dates, trading babysitting
• Don't micromanage the help—if someone folds laundry differently, just say thank you
• Considering paid help when possible (the dirty kitchen window that makes you sad every time you look at it)
• Creating a physical to-do list for visitors—when they ask what they can do, hand them the list
• Building your support network intentionally: grandparents for childcare, a friend who listens, a mother-in-law who loves to garden
• Breaking the "do it all" mindset—humans aren't designed to parent alone, we're social creatures meant to work in community
Quotable Moments
"There are no medals for doing it all on your own. You just end up exhausted and burned out." — Delyse Clayden
"Asking for help's not a weakness, it's a wisdom." — Delyse Clayden
"Self-caring and asking for help when needed makes you a better caregiver to others. It doesn't make you less of a caregiver." — Delyse Clayden
"You deserve support. Life is too difficult to do it on your own." — Delyse Clayden
About Your Hosts
Professor Narelle Lemon is a researcher, educator, and passionate advocate for women's wellbeing based at Edith Cowan University in Perth. Creator of She Speaks and the Citizen Wellbeing Scientist project, Narelle has dedicated over 25 years to one powerful belief: self-care is not selfish—it's essential.
Delyse Clayden is an experienced educator, disability advocate, and mother of three. Specialising in Anxiety, Autism, and working with siblings, Delyse brings both personal and professional experience to her advocacy work. Her unique perspective as both an educator and a parent living alongside additional needs allows her to connect authentically with families.
Resources Mentioned
• Delyse Clayden Advocacy: www.volume-disabilityadvocacy.au
• WA Mental Health Association: Resources on staying calm in challenging situations — www.mhc.wa.gov.au
• Explore & Create Co: www.exploreandcreateco.com
Connect With Us
Listen to more She Speaks episodes exploring women's wellbeing and self-care
Visit our website: www.shespeakswellbeing.com
Follow us on Instagram: @shespeakswellbeingstrategies
A Note on Wellbeing
She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women's voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and practical strategies, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified mental health practitioner.
She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and Department of Communities Women's Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.
She Speaks Podcast was recorded on the lands of the Whadjuk Nyoongar people. We respectfully acknowledge our elders past, present, and emerging.